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The Polkadot Circle is a place where my creative expression and my personal journey come together. Through my photography, the way I see the world through my lens, and the stories I choose to share, I'll be explore the deeper feelings, experiences, and lessons that have shaped me along the way.

Some reflections may come from pain, grief, betrayal, fear, rejection, or the parts of ourselves we've spent years trying to hide. Others may come from healing, gratitude, self-love, rediscovering who we are, or finally seeing something in a whole new light.

This is my journey, told through my creative expression. And my hope is that somewhere along the way, something I share might speak to a spot of your journey, too.

Finding my way back to me...

My life has taken me through some pretty crazy, twisted, bumpy, painful, and unexpected places. I'm sure you have your own stories, too.

My entire life, I learned to smile through things, play the role I was expected to play, and be whoever I needed to be in whatever moment I was in. I didn't always understand how much of myself I had lost  along the way. I carried things I didn't know how to process, buried feelings I didn't know how to express, and learned patterns that followed me into adulthood.

It took finding myself in a really dark place to begin looking at my life differently. I started unpacking the experiences, wounds, childhood conditioning, shame, and patterns that had shaped so much of who I thought I was.

And wow. There was a lot there.

What surprised me most was discovering that the parts of my story I had spent so much time hiding weren't proof that I was broken or less than. They were part of my story. Part of what I had survived. Part of what I was learning to understand.

I began to see that the things I had been taught to question, suppress, or keep to myself could become my power not my hidden shame.  I could use them for healing, growth, compassion, understanding, and connection.

I didn't suddenly have everything figured out. I still don't. But I began finding my way back to parts of myself I had lost along the way.

And somewhere in that process, the Polkadots started popping up everywhere!

What Creativity Has to Do With It

Something I've come to realize on this journey is that so many of the difficult places I've found myself in throughout my life have led me back to creativity.

When I've allowed myself to process my emotions through creating, something begins to shift. Sometimes I find a way to express feelings I couldn't put into words. Sometimes I begin to understand something I've been carrying. And sometimes, through the simple act of making something, I discover a little more about myself than I knew before.

Looking back, I'm starting to see just how often creativity has been part of my process, even when I didn't fully recognize it at the time.

What if the things we struggle to put into words could find expression in other ways?

Through a photograph. A watercolor painting. A splash of color. An illustration. A story. Something we create simply because something inside us needs a place to go.

For me, creativity has become more than making something beautiful. It's become a way to explore what's happening beneath the surface, process difficult emotions, see things from a different perspective, and give expression to parts of myself that may have been tucked away for a long time.

Sometimes the meaning comes while I'm creating. Sometimes it comes later. And sometimes it is still circling around in my head.

That's part of what makes this journey so interesting. I don't always know where an idea will lead or what a photograph, painting, or story might reveal or what story it will tell me along the way.

 

I have been over thinking and over planning this project for far too long. I don't want to keep trying to control that process any more.

I want to give myself permission to explore, experiment, get messy, follow an idea, and see what comes. I want to make room for the creative parts of me that have been waiting to come out, including the parts I may have learned to hide or question along the way.

Maybe you have something inside you that's been waiting for a little room, too.

You don't have to be an artist. You don't have to be good at painting, photography, writing, or anything else. You don't even have to know what you're trying to express.

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Maybe it's drawing, taking pictures, dancing, gardening, making something with your hands, writing a few words, or simply following a little spark of curiosity.

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You don't have to create something for anyone else to see. You can simply explore what feels right for you.

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For me, this is part of learning to reconnect with myself, embrace my inner child, and give myself permission to be curious and creative without worrying so much about what something is supposed to look like or where it's supposed to lead.  

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It's also part of why I want to share my photography and the stories behind my Polkadots which I call Polkadot Reflections.  These are the stories I will tell through my camera lens.  Sometimes there is so much more that lives within an image. Darkness, light, emotions, experiences, and personal meaning that aren't immediately visible without looking deeper.

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By sharing this spot of my journey, I hope to encourage others to look a little deeper, explore their own creative expression, and discover what may be hiding within them just waiting to pop!

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I'm still learning. Still creating. Still discovering.

And I'm finally learning that I don't have to know exactly where the dots are leading before I follow them and share them with you.

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Sometimes we just need to give ourselves permission to create, be seen in the messy and let the magic unfold.

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Change your perspective. Change your life.

Always remember to color outside the lines...that is where the magic pops up!

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Thank you for POPPIN' by!

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